'Beans on toast and a poached egg on the top please' I said, cheerfully, to flossy behind the counter. A look of confusion stared back at me. 'Beans on toast with a poached egg on top?' she replied. Her brow was now furrowed. Something was wrong. I could tell. 'That’s right' I said. I was trying to remain cheerful. 'We can’t do beans on toast with a poached egg on top.' I was deflated. 'But,' she went on, 'We can do poached egg on toast with beans on the side.' She was being serious. Deadly serious. I was looking for Jeremy Beadle. And Noel Edmonds. 'I suppose that’ll have to do I said.' The greasy spoon is dead. Long live the greasy spoon.