Saturday, 4 January 2014


'Where's our change?'
Everybody knows that David Essex was born in a gypsy caravan on a Fairground within earshot of Bow Bells. It's also a well known fact that Ringo Starr taught him how to fleece the punters on the Dodgems and that when his time comes it will probably be some freak accident on a Ferris Wheel or the Waltzers. Either that or he'll choke to death on his candy floss.

Listen out for how Essex pronounces Roller Coaster. You'd swear it was John Lydon.

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